Love, Actually

Pastor’s Pen, February 2025

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends... And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, 13

February is the month of love.

Well, OK, not officially. But as a nation we make a great fuss about romantic love around Valentine's Day, either demonstrating it or reacting against it as our circumstances dictate. Maybe it's a way of distracting ourselves from winter, of generating some heat when it's so cold out. Or maybe it's just a way to pass the time. Whatever the reason, the idea of romantic love occupies a lot of our time for several weeks.

These verses from 1 Corinthians are often used in support of romantic love. They are read at weddings to demonstrate how the couple feels about one another. They are held up as the ideal for how to treat someone you love, how to have the perfect relationship. They are quoted so often that even people who never set foot in a church have heard them and recognize them. So would it surprise you to learn that they are not about romantic love at all?

Like all of the Apostle Paul's letters, 1 Corinthians was written in Greek. Biblical Greek has four different words for the various feelings that all get covered by the English word 'love.' The word Paul uses here is agapé, which refers to love for humankind in general. So, far from being an idealized picture of the love we bear for one special person, Paul is talking about how a Christian—one living in Christ—should feel towards everyone. That annoying co-worker. That neighbor that is hard to deal with. That relative you just don't like being around. Paul says that we are to treat everyone we meet with a love that is not arrogant, does not insist on its own way, and endures all things.

If this sounds familiar, it should. Jesus said things like this, particularly in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5). Interestingly, the other major meaning for agapé is the love of God and Christ for humankind. Paul and Jesus are telling us to treat each other, to love each other, the way God treats and loves us. God's love for us is patient, and kind. God's love for us bears all things, including our frequent total disregard for God.

Paul was telling the community at Corinth that in Christ, love is different. In Christ, we don't get to pick and choose who to love. In Christ, we don't get to use love as a weapon, threatening to withhold it if others don't do what we want. In Christ, we don't get to feel superior when others stumble and do wrong. In Christ, our love for others rejoices in the truth: the truth that, because all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, we are no better and no worse than anyone else, and because all are created in the image of God, all are equally worthy of our unconditional love, just as all receive Christ's unconditional love. This is not a universally accepted notion nowadays, even among those who call themselves Christians, but that does not change the call of God to love everyone as God loves us.

Granted, we will always be attracted to some people more than others. That's fine. God designed things to work that way. But we are never to be attracted to some people to the exclusion of others, because God never excludes us. So go ahead. If you feel like celebrating romantic love, by all means let your beloved know how you feel. Give them a nice gift. But always remember that every one of us is God's beloved, and that God's love for us was shown by the greatest gift of all, giving his Son to die for us. 

The greatest of these is love.

Peace,

Pastor Shawn